We all want our children to be and feel successful in life. (whatever that looks like for them). I know that many parents find it hard when their child either won’t try new things or become derailed in the face of challenges.
I would love to share with you some simple steps that have worked with my own children and many of my clients. So, read on to discover the 5 key steps to help children achieve success.
When a child feels powerful and courageous, no challenge is too great and in fact, challenges are actually seen as opportunities to learn and grow from.
Does this mean they will never have doubts or problems?
Of course not, but when they have those strong foundational elements that are generated from within such as self-esteem and confidence, then they have the mindset that challenges can be overcome and focus on the solution rather than give up and focus on the problem.
The following are 5 key steps to help your child achieve success.
Allow your child to dream BIG
For many adults, (me included), we were taught to diminish our dreams, we were told to ‘be realistic’ about what we wanted to achieve or be.
We were persuaded to do what others were doing even if it didn’t really resonate fully with our desires. We now know our parents were doing this from what they thought was a place of love but instead it was from a place of fear and ‘trying to keep us safe.’
So, in this first step, I want you to allow your child to dream BIG and guide them to get in touch with what this makes them feel like. What emotions do they feel when they tap into being the best basketball player in the world or becoming a VET, an electrician, a nurse or a teacher. Let your child tell you about ‘their world’ and why it lights them up so much.
When a child is stopped from dreaming and is made to feel wrong for looking outside the box, they feel that they have to conform to what everyone else is doing.
Unfortunately, this is one of the key factors that shuts down your child’s confidence and as a result, they lose touch with what they are most passionate about in life. Not only does their confidence drop but their motivation to achieve also takes a hit.
Because they have lost touch with what lights them up and what their true gifts and talents are.
2. Allow your child to fail
Children need to learn how to make it through failure and how to keep going this is what develops resilience.
If you keep protecting them from experiencing challenges then you are robbing them from building their confidence and resilience.
Allow your child to daydream and encourage them to dream big and let them fly…….and yes, they will stumble and they may fall flat but you will always be there to guide them to take that next step forward.
Your child will then learn to use their struggles as part of the growth process that they can learn from and adapt and change while moving toward their goals.
3. Celebrate the wins and the failures
At the end of the week discuss what happened that week that your child wants to celebrate. What wins did they have at school, sport or life in general?
AND more importantly what didn’t turn out the way they wished or expected?
Celebrate the loses and see challenges as a wonderful opportunity to progress towards our goals.
4. Learning from challenges
This is so important if you want your child to stand tall after getting knocked down. Children seem to have this belief that if they don’t get it right the first time there “must be something wrong with me”
We need to encourage them that it is a growth journey and mistakes help us to grow in the right direction – we see the highlights of where we need to work on, apply ourselves and grow.
Ask simple questions:
What do you wish happened instead?
What can you do differently next time?
How does that make you feel?
Your ability to respond to challenges in life, (as opposed to reacting to them) has a very expansive attitude – you are able to calmly see the situation and make a new decision from a different perspective
5. Let your child decide
Parents have this feeling that they need to work out what their child will be successful at and direct them toward it. The truth is our children have everything within them and we just need to support and guide our children on this path/journey.
Maybe they don’t know right now what they want to be doing for the rest of their lives. That’s okay!
Just ask them to feel into what feels good right now. I promise you, the rest will unfold in perfect timing. When your child just does what lights them up in the present moment it becomes the stepping stones leading them forward to a bigger and brighter future.
It is more empowering for our children if we can shift our own perspective into a new way of thinking – that our children already have what it takes to make themselves successful.
When they feel we believe and trust them, they are more likely to apply themselves and succeed because they have been able to tap into their passions and desires.
A child who is connected to their inner wisdom and feelings is a child who will succeed.
I truly hope these simple steps have helped you to relax a little around needing to always be there and protect your child from life’s challenges because it’s not the mistakes of failures that crush their self-esteem it is how they perceive these challenges that are the key.