‘Holding Space’ for our children is a relatively new concept in the parenting world but one that I feel has a huge impact on the way we can support our children during those challenging times.
Holding Space is about letting go of all ‘expectations’ of your child and instead, meeting them exactly where they are in the moment.
To let go of what WE think they SHOULD be doing, thinking or saying by putting our own judgements and criticisms aside and actually looking at our child with new eyes and truly seeing them for who they are, not who we want them to be.
When our children are acting out and pushing our buttons it can trigger us to feel like it is a personal attack on us.
We need to be able to look beyond the behaviour and not take it personally. When we can put our ‘stuff’ aside and see our child’s actions as a way of communicating a deeper issue we shift our perspective and are able to support them.
We cannot give our children what we don’t have ourselves. So in order to hold the space for our children, we need to raise our own energy.
We do this by dropping from our mind (and the endless chatter and distraction) into our heart space.
The heart is fuelled by love and this process enables us to be kind, open and compassionate towards our children. We become present, grounded and focussed.
We step into the situation feeling empowered knowing we can confidently support our child and give them what they really need – guidance to their own inner wisdom.
I wish to gift you 3 steps to Hold Space for your children:
Fill Yourself Up Energy Ritual
In order to support your child, you need to be full of positive supportive and compassionate energy yourself. It is important that you create a bubble of this higher vibrational energy within and around you which then enables you to flow that energy towards your child.
Some ways to achieve this include:
- Breathe work- done correctly we are able to calm our nervous system and respond rather than react
- Connecting with Divine Spirit (God, Universal source, whatever is meaningful to you.) This process enables us to feel supported ourselves.
- Send love from your heart -this is unconditional love that is pure and abundant. The more you give the more that energy is replenished.
Shift Your Mindset
Place your hand over your heart chakra and ask
“What would love do?”
This is powerful beyond words.
This creates that energy shift to “How I can serve my child for their highest good”
Validate their emotions
Let your child know it is okay to feel into their emotions and when they are ready to speak, you will be there for them.
Whisper in their ear
“I love you unconditionally”
“I appreciate and respect you”
“I support you”
Communicate to them “When you are ready we will take a deep breath together.”
Unless we are full of love and light ourselves we cannot hold a space for our children that is pure and divine.