Embrace Your STRONG WILLED Daughter!
Yep, it can be a battleground…….your will against hers……no one wants to give in……tension rises, doors slam,,,,,,, things are said in the heat of the moment!!!
It is so exhausting!
You could PAUSE and Breathe AND embrace her strong will – you don’t need to prove that you are right! Just let her know you love the fact that she knows what she wants.
And when she is having a ‘meltdown’ …….
Raise your energy out of the frustration and overwhelm of the situation because if you don’t, you will remain stuck in this emotional battle of the wills where things are said in the heat of the moment and NOTHING is resolved……
Become the witness (don’t take her actions personally…….in fact it’s not even about YOU!)
Understand that your daughter’s behaviour is just a symptom of a deeper issue that she is trying to express. So, her actions may be directed towards you but it is not about you.
Your daughter actually needs your support right now
1.Raise Your Energy
Breathe and ask “What can I do to support my daughter?”
The breath will help to calm your nervous system and stop you from feeling triggered……once you have reached that space you are able to respond to her needs rather than react from your triggered placed.
2. Allow her to know you love and support her
Ask yourself What would LOVE DO?
When you ask a question it takes you out of the overwhelm and frustration of the problem. You are then able to expand your focus on a solution. Asking ‘What would love do?” allows you to come from a place of compassion for your daughter.
This is not about giving in to your daughter but allowing her to feel what she is feeling and letting her emotions flow. YOU need to stand firm on your decision BUT support her by saying:
“I am here for you”
“I see you are upset because of………”
“When you are ready let’s breathe together”
3. Strong Boundaries
Stand firm with your boundaries!
During a quiet time with your daughter allow time to talk about what your boundaries are around certain activities so she understands what they are. Sometimes we just assume our kids know what we expect of them and when they don’t comply we become frustrated. So, make sure that this is all discussed first.
When you are in the throws of a meltdown, validate what she is feeling ie frustrated/angry but stand firm on your boundaries and allow her to process these emotions.
When you are able to distance yourself from the ‘drama’ and not take your daughters actions personally you are able to see the situation from a completely new perspective.
Remember to love, acknowledge and respect your child and you can’t go wrong