How To Reduce Your Child’s Anxiety Starting A New School Year

January 27, 2017

Pauline

I can’t believe how fast these School holidays have flown by!

I think we have all enjoyed the spontaneous nature of holidays. No schedules, no lunches to make the night before, no organising uniforms and enjoying long mornings lounging in our pyjamas……..

But the thought of a new school year commencing next week can make some kids feel anxious and nervous about the unknown or if they struggled last year they are fearful of all that happening again this year.

My son commences secondary School next week. New School, new teachers, new friends, new routines…….

He is feeling both excited and a little nervous which I feel are all very normal feelings to have.

However, when we were in the shoe store fitting his new School shoes, the young girl serving us innocently commented that she struggled moving from year 6 and being the leader of the school to Year 7 starting from the bottom again at a new school.

As we walked out of the store my son commented “Mum, should I be worried about starting Secondary School?”

Wow, isn’t it amazing how someone else’s perception and experience can influence others.

This is what I said to him,

“What do YOU want your experience of your new school year to be like?”
“What qualities do you wish for your new friends to have?”
“How do YOU want to FEEL at School?”

I use these “Empowered Questions” often when my children ask me questions.

Using Empowered Questions take them from their minds and into their hearts where their own answers reside- they go within and FEEL into their own answers. This helps them focus on what they DO want rather than worry about what they DON’T want to happen.
It also Empowers them to know they always have the answers that are right for them rather than taking on someone else’s perceptions.

The new school year is exciting but it can be full of anxiety and overwhelm for so many.

Here are some tips that can support you all in this big transition.

1. Dump the Anxious thoughts

This is a great time for your child to brain dump all the things they are concerned about on to paper
Just allow the pen to flow and have them write (or draw if they prefer) everything they feel anxious about.

Then have them discuss with you what they have written. Make them feel safe with no judgement. Some things they will realise they have no need for concern and others they can actually create a positive plan to solve.
This process by itself can help to reduce some of the anxiety as they have it out of their head on the paper.

2. Responsibility and Routine

Structure and Routine gives your child a feeling of control over their outcomes.

Start to create a routine now that is similar to the school mornings such as when to get out of bed, shower, breakfast, meditation, energy medicine, affirmations……

Create a calendar where your child is able to set specific times and checklists to achieve these outcomes. This will give them the structure they thrive on and also sets them up to practice responsibility.

When your child has a plan and knows what is coming up next they feel calm and focused.

3. Preparation

Have your child help organise school uniforms and supplies, books stationary, drink bottle, lunch boxes – and let them feel excited about selecting these.
Being organised early will reduce so much stress rather than running around last minute causing everyone to be on edge!

4. Discuss Expectations

Chat to your child about what their goals and desires are for the year ahead without any expectations from you.

Give them a vision of school that encompasses positive aspects such as:
Learning new things, making new friends, new activities, new experiences….create a beautiful positive world that they want to jump into.

5. Anxiety resides in the mind

Children who suffer with anxiety are deep thinkers….thinking about the outcomes and what could go wrong.
You want your child to ‘get out of their head and into their heart away from the clutter of the mind.

There are many techniques I use to work with this but it can be as simple as your child placing their hands over their heart chakra and breathing into this space. Inhale saying ‘Calm” and exhale saying “peace”
This brings the focus from the mind and into the heart creating that peace and calm.

6. Boundaries

You may need to tighten up a few boundaries that were loosened during the holidays. Have a chat about expectations around the house, chores and routines. This is much better done before school starts.
When kids know what is expected and they have some structure they feel safe.

7. Reduce your stress as a parent

Energetically your child feels your stress and worry. Everything is energy including your thoughts and it’s amazing how you can affect your child in a positive or negative way.
Your energy field is what supports your child, they either feel your support, encouragement or love or they are bombarded with your fears, worries and doubts.

Remember this is a big transition for your child going into a new year level or commencing at a whole new School, so give them the time and space to talk with you and feel heard. Try not to put your expectations on them

Let them know they are loved no matter what and that you are always there for them and ready to listen to their successes and their challenges.